What I Explored in March
I’ve decided that my life will be about exploring, whether that means exploring myself, relationships, life stages, jobs, hobbies, or, of course… new places. I’m also constantly exploring the different versions of myself that emerge at various times. Since turning 30 last year, I’ve started to feel some of the shifts people talk about at this age. I feel torn - SO torn - between two sides: The part that wants to keep traveling and the part that craves stability, a home, a family. The traditional path that many people around me are taking feels tempting, but deep down, I know it’s not my time yet. Not while there’s still so much world and life to explore!
Lately, staying in the same town where I grew up has started to feel… stagnant. My excitement for everyday experiences here is dwindling, and my instinct is telling me it’s time to move on to something new. I can hear the voices in my head, “Go Edie, go!” “Get out of here and go see the world!” But then, of course, the doubts creep in. What if everything doesn’t go as planned?
March was filled with family time, wedding celebrations, and a lot of moments that pushed me into that difficult space of questioning: Who am I? And asking myself: Do I want to jump on the marriage-baby-career train? Or do I want to follow the influencers I admire on Instagram who are creating their own lives while traveling the world? Can I somehow do both?
I tried to make the most of my confusion this month, sometimes by throwing myself into work, sometimes by talking my boyfriend’s ear off for hours, (thanks Pascal<3) but I also made a point to explore new things that bring me joy. Pascal and I created a scavenger hunt for friends to help us explore our new neighborhood, East Village. It checked all the boxes: Adventure, fun, time with friends (old and new), and a budget-friendly activity. It was such a fulfilling experience, especially because we got to create something joyful together. It reminded me how much I love designing experiences like this and encouraged me to keep building more of that in my life.
Pascal and I also came up with a food challenge to make grocery shopping and meal prep more exciting. We each shopped separately, competing to make the best dish based on health, cost, and taste. A simple task turned into a fun bonding experience, and it reinforced how important it is for me to inject creativity into everyday moments. And it could be so simple, with the right timing and people.
But this month wasn’t all smooth sailing. My grandmother’s dementia is progressing, and spending time with her has been tough. Watching her memory fade is heartbreaking. I find myself losing patience when she asks me the same question five times in a row, “I already told you that!” only to feel guilty when I see the sadness in her eyes. She deserves patience, but it’s hard. I remind myself to focus on the beautiful moments… like her excitement over seeing a squirrel outside, and the sheer joy in her voice when I make her breakfast, “WOW, thank you so much!” she says, as if I’ve given her the world. Those moments are everything.
Taking care of my grandma while also supporting my mom during tax season has been exhausting. I can only imagine what it’s like to care for kids 24/7! It makes me wonder if I’m ready for that (spoiler: I’m not). But it’s also shown me the importance of carving out time to recharge. I’ve explored different ways to relax, such as calling an old friend, reading, and watching TV, and each one serves a purpose. Of course, reading is the “healthiest” option, but sometimes I just don’t have the energy for it! Sometimes, all I can do is lose myself in a great TV show, and that’s okay too.
This month, I also explored my emotions in social settings. I went to a bachelorette party and two bridal showers, and surprisingly, I struggled to feel fully at ease. I found myself comparing my life to others, feeling behind, and struggling to connect. In the past, I thrived in social environments like these, but lately, I’ve felt the pull to spend more time alone. Curious about these feelings, I did some research (yes, sometimes with ChatGPT) and came across a few helpful perspectives.
One that stuck with me is the “let them” theory - letting people do what they do without letting it affect me if I can’t change them. I’ve also been working on self-confidence, repeating mantras to shift my mindset. It’s a work in progress! But I am so thankful for the resources and determination I have to keep growing and learning throughout this stage.
Beyond personal growth, I’ve been exploring slow business growth with my travel business. As much as I wish I could snap my fingers and have my travel business fully developed, my coach, and Pascal (who is one of the only people who read these lol HI), keep reminding me that these things take time. One step at a time. When I reflect on this past month, I see progress: I nearly finished my website, created interest surveys for future trips, planned two Italy trips for friends and family, and deepened my knowledge of the travel industry - all while also managing my mom’s accounting business and learning a ton in the process. That’s pretty good and these are wins I will allow myself to celebrate!
Here are a few other healthy habits I explored in March (and plan to continue in April):
Hydration with Celtic salt – My coach recommended it, and I can feel the difference.
Afternoon walk breaks – A simple reset at 3 p.m. makes a world of difference.
Meditation and journaling – Ten minutes in the morning (or afternoon if I miss it) helps clear my mind.
Nighttime work on my travel business – I’ve embraced slower mornings in exchange for evening productivity.
Taking my grandma to cafes while I work – A small way to include her in my daily life while still getting things done.
March was a month of questioning, exploring, and finding small ways to create joy. Here’s to more exploring in April and I am curious to see what it brings!
